![]() The second book by Magda Gerber about her RIE approach to parenting that I just finished is Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child's Natural Abilities -- From the Very Start. I found a lot of overlap between this one and Dear Parent, but it was still helpful to hear all the examples of parents putting the concepts into practice. I also appreciated all the background about the origins of RIE and the Stanford DIP, which I didn't know about. Part 1 how RIE can help your baby 1 respect Allow time to do things in his way Love and consideration Treat as honored guest Let him be Value what does Basic principles Trust in child as initiator Safe and challenging environment Time for uninterrupted play Freedom to interact with other infants Involve child as active participant in caregiving Sensitive observation Consistent limits and expectations 2 birth of RIE Pikler method Freedom of development Stanford DIP Part 2 your baby through life 3 newborn Observe Quiet and calm Slow Predictable day schedule Talk to child in normal voice Ideal is parent staying home Calm environment Mostly staying home Second crib outside No need for caregiver there at all times Baby monitor Don't need toys or manual stimulation No mobile No boredom Sleep alone in crib Sleep sack No toys in crib Comfort object optional Tell baby bedtime routine Put to bed before overtired Lullaby and feed and put down awake No rocking chair for sleep Involve and talk through diaper change as quality time Wants something quality vs wants nothing quality time No goal for child. Simply being while child explores. Allow crying and don't distract away. You're crying. What's the matter? Carrier prevents movement Self soothing Thumb better than paci 4 newborn parents Ask for help Doula for mom Try to do less First 2.5 years stay at home in peace Allow child to cry Acknowledge desire but enforce rule Babysitting exchanges with other parents Time for uninterrupted play without u 5 first months Ask for cooperation Feed each item separately If you thrown out of play area it stays here Don't bring child to bathroom with u Put to bed by 6 or 7 at latest Put to bed before tired Rest Tell child bedtime routine sequence Offer choice of transitional object Tell transitional object what you want your child to do for bedtime routine Tell child you are tired too Recapture day at end including what may not have seemed important Can mention what will happen tomorrow Read soothing stories Goodnight moon Put in crib awake and learn to self soothe Ferber solve child sleep problems Respond minimally at night Nap time same approach Make your life easier Simple clear statements and tone Don't give choice or ask question when it's not a choice Arrange day around child eating and sleeping habits Let child have child's life Make clothing comfortable Not about pretty or cute Bare feet as much as possible Naked for part of the day Completely safe room Natural play environment Outdoor play best Stroller walk fine for nonmobile child Neatly organized Simple objects like boxes or bells Large scarves Large containers Stacking toys Whiffle balls Blocks crayons and clay Let child discover how to play with toys himself Don't solve problems for child Do minimum when helping Leave alone for gradually longer Mirror too complicated for child Don't need praise for actions during play. Ok to smile or express feelings. Good in good job is a moral judgment of the person Thank rather than praise for good behavior Reflecting is support Comments on child's actions. You pulled those beads apart and that was really hard. Just smile to reflect emotion Doesn't praise or criticize Selective intervention You really want that block. Can you get it Avoid rescuing Smallest facilitating step Model good behavior Only reinforce what u want to see Support child's authenticity 6 selecting child care Best is for one parent to stay at home Ask caregiver to just observe Outdoor play area 4:1 caregiver Play not teaching Santa Barbara RIE daycare center 7 baby becomes mobile Forget about milestones and pressure Focus on baby's happiness not accomplishment of goals u want Appreciate what he does Make home safe Keep out of kitchen and bathroom Tell child what u expect and plan for next few minutes Allow time for transitions I won't let you because Tell child when leaving Don't talk about child in front of others. Include him in convo. Avoid labels for child Offer child choices like which Blanket or juice or which sweater Don't hurry child's speaking Allow child yo struggle Learning to fall is important. Don't say you're ok. Selective intervention. Observe and wait. No horseplay or tickling. Laughter should come from within. Let child solve Len problem. I think u can handle this. I'm here if you can't. Help child learn to be gentle. Just say gentle. Separation and stranger anxiety normal and healthy. Will pass. Wean when child starts losing interest. Morning feed last one to drop. Offer cup. Taper feedings over weeks or months. Low table and chair instead of high chair to allow easy exit and child directed eating. Rules for eating food socially Keep meals pressure free. Can show as preparing food and explain that will eat soon. Explain rules as go along like the bowl stays on the table. End meal when playing more than eating Let play with cups and water during bath Refrain from offering more when food refused Do minimum with night wakings Same routine for each sleep Slow predictable life Part 3 as child grows 8 toddler Tell child goodbye when leaving Feel powerful but afraid of power Be patient and understanding Role of child is to separate and discover own identity Do minimum of help and ask child questions so they solve own problem Demands from child are result of security Support desires. No bad desires, only actions. You want to hit lance but I won't let you. It would hurt him. No need to teach anything. Just allow them to learn. Children learn when parents leave the room Indoor/outdoor combined play area Objects to be pushed as well as dumped Dolls Climbing structures Keep TV off Books and music Pretend play important. Don't ask child questions about his pretend play, just observe. Sharing learned from modeling Aggressive behavior normal. Acknowledge feelings. Hitting is normal. Can't teach not to hit. Will learn from modeling. Just say I won't let you hit, what else can u do? Biting: redirect to something else he can bite Let child do everything on own which isn't dangerous Allow child to experiment and do regressive behaviors like crawling whenever wants to. Don't overreact to negative behaviors. React positively to good deeds. Thank u for playing calmly while I was on the phone. I liked how u touched X gently. If you don't want to put on your shoes, you'll stay home. Do you want to put on your shoes yourself or do you need me to help you? I don't want you to Ignore bad words and don't become upset. Better to look other way. Can discuss when older. Do errands without child Head banging normal and can't stop. Just let be. Way of relieving stress. Discipline is consistent limits Time out disconnected punishment No spanking Cause consequences discipline Leave tossed out toys where they fall Describe what happening around child Use words to describe child's feelings Fear is normal. Don't discount their fears even if no real danger. Keep up bedtime and nap time routines Calm soothing atmosphere before bed Choices best when given 2 choices Can sit at adult table when has table manners and fits in big chair Testing means child feels safe with u I know you want to y but we are going to X Whenever ur ready the potty chair is here for u Don't convey negative message about feces Don't reward toilet learning. Just normal thing. Sibling rivalry: intervene minimally Don't judge. What else could you have done?
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![]() After really enjoying Janet Lansbury's books, I decided to go to some of the "primary source" material to learn more about RIE, and that meant starting to read Magda Gerber's books. The first one I just finished is Dear Parent: Caring for Infants with Respect by Magda Gerber. A lot of it is echoed in Janet's writing, but it was nice to hear Magda's tone directly come through in her prose and examples. With the millions of parenting philosophies and opinions out there and the millions of tiny decisions parents have to make everyday, I really liked how this book took a stand on many controversial issues (sleep, thumb vs. paci, feeding, etc.) and gave a direct recommendation along with its reasoning. Each chapter was short and direct, and together they covered pretty much every major aspect of parenting in the first year or so. Enjoy more, work less 1 educaring: meeting needs of infants and parents Educate while you care and opposite Respect Goal is an authentic child Trust their competence Sensitive observation Involve child in caregiving Safe and challenging environment Uninterrupted play Consistency 2 caregiving routines: one to one with full attention Refueling time for both Take phone off hook before and tell him 3 teaching and learning Don't teach or interfere with learning Free movement, free play Tell child what he or you are doing You seem thirsty. Do you want this drink? Let's put your shirt on. Are you ready to put your arm in the sleeve? The street isn't safe. I cannot let you run after your ball. 4 time apart: space for baby Safe environment is when infant can survive the day if adult locked out by accident Playpen outside First toy: big scarf on floor in form of peak Don't have to sit with baby all the time. Can leave to do own work and check in. 5 allowing infants to do what they can do Observe and wait Do you want to be picked up Your ball got stuck. What can you do? This upsets you. Let him solve problem. Only provide smallest help needed so baby can take over 6 responsibility of parenthood Ongoingness and unfreeness of being a parent Child demands technicalities of caregiving no matter what Conflict of needs Adult not baby needs to adjust Let go and don't push Ok to go away at times Investment in the future 7 at home with newborn No errands with baby first 6-8 weeks. Peace at home. 8 talking to baby Express ur feelings 9 on their backs free to move Tolerate their struggle 10 crying Just acknowledge and communicate. I see you're unhappy. I wish I knew what was making you unhappy. No rocking. Just calmness and less stimulation. 11 holding Don't hold all the time No constant carrier 12 thumb vs paci Thumb more natural and preferred and will only be used as long as necessary Child not parent in control Crying should be allowed form of self expression 13 at their own time, in their own way Learning by moving Readiness 14 predictability: helping child feel secure Move slowly Tell baby ahead of time what will happen For travel, take many familiar objects like sheets, blankies, toys and maintain regular same schedule Don't allow child to be passed around like a ball between family members Don't interrupt with unimportant things like checking diaper or making comment 15 learning to observe Observe more, do less Don't project own thoughts 16 and wait Don't interrupt Selective intervention Let problems resolve themselves I think you can handle it but if not I'm here 17 authentic infant competent child The less u assume about the baby, the more u learn Say ur true emotions Don't throw in air like object Don't stifle their negative emotions Don't stimulate or excite or tickle just go get a reaction out or make happy. Just be responsive to their invitations. Don't smile at crying child. Manipulative. Sensitive observation 18 quality time Full unhurried attention Wants nothing: taking in and waiting Wants something: have expectations for cooperation. Dressing, bathing. Ok to allow some play initially but be firm when time to move on. Matter of fact and not aggressive. 19 diapering Not chore to hurry through or have to distract from Invite him to participate in undressing by requesting help 20 feeding Don't use food as means to soothe Infant weight scale to judge feedings Only feed when baby really hungry Only feed as long as baby is vigorously working on it Give small bowl and spoon to baby so he feeds self from there and refill from larger bowl Feed on lap or in small chair where baby feet can touch floor Appetite drops around 1 year when rate of growth drops Have baby eat separately and parents eat when baby in bed for more pleasurable eating for parents. Kids can join family meal when can participate in table conversations. Never talk child into eating more When shows any disinterest don't give any more at all Don't use food as reward 21 sleeping Predictable daily routine Plenty of time outdoors Room sized outdoor playpen Napping outdoors Slow paced day Recognize tiredness Put to bed very early in evening Put to bed awake Bedtime ritual gradually darkening and quieting Comment as you go through cleanup routine to provide bridge between tonight and tomorrow Talk to lovey or bear Sing lullaby or wind up music box 22 choosing play objects Scarf Containers Balls Beach toys Ice cube trays Bread basket Empty soda bottles Plastic chains Boxes Active infant, passive object 23 outdoor living Playpen outside then room sized fenced in area 24 discipline and the goal Children need expectations and rules Child has hard time growing up with ambivalent parents Don't try to keep child happy always Training that develops self control and character 25 house rules Give child choices within secure framework Be consistent but not rigid. predictability. Habits. Patterns and routines. Continue bedtime routine until child indicates the need for some change. Even children need to be able to save face and avoid power struggles Simple age appropriate rules Expect deep down rule to be followed 26 praise or acknowledgement Gentle validations instead of instructions criticism or praise Do not praise child happily playing Do not praise child performing for adults Praise child for social adaption doing difficult things like sharing or waiting 27 opposing needs, different points of view Switch to infant point of view Respect your own needs. Ok for child to wait. 28 adapting to new developments Change is continual 29 separation and stranger anxiety Give baby practice doing her own separating to explore and initiating separations 30 sharing and conflicts Learned by watching models of behavior Requires advanced mental concept that develop much later Wait during conflicts Start with least amount of intervention State the conflict in nonjudgmental way 31 biting Totally normal part of development Toddlers don't understand waiting Give teething toy for biting I won't let you bite others. If you feel like biting, you can bite this or this. 32 toddlers Constant struggle Huge struggle for child between opposites in him Energy patience and compassion 33 toilet training Unnecessary to teach when child ready. Will know what to do. No praise or rewards Trust ur child 34 parent support groups 35 decisions on working Postpone full time work for first couple years 36 infant care alternatives One caregiver Care center Care center at work 37 fads and trends / what's the rush Infants “need” stimulation Too much too early 38 absolutely safe Safe room with gates at doors 39 equipment necessary Low chair and table Gates at doors Don't put baby into position he cannot get out of himself 40 wishes for future 41 on loving Be available rather than intrusive I am here to help you but I do not know what you need. Try to tell me. Tolerate the crying if don't understand. First try to understand before try to make stop. 42 RIE difference 43 one family one Saturday Alternate full attention and independent play Communicate all transitions 44 appreciating RIE 45 educaring examples 46 pikler work Pikler babies Safe quiet environment 47 about RIE 48 visit to a RIE infant center 49 RIE in family child care home ![]() I totally fell into the trap of thinking that I needed to use flash cards with the baby, even though in the back of my mind I had a sneaking suspicion that it didn't make sense. Finally I understand why after reading Einstein Never Used Flashcards: How Our Children Really Learn -- and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, and Diane Eyer. I enjoyed the book a lot and liked that they wrote the book based on reviewing published scientific literature on each subject like reading, math, and social skills. I also liked the little games and activities mentioned to allow you to see how your baby's brain changes over the course of months or years. My biggest takeaway: babies learn the best just from normal play and everyday interactions. Intro Not about raising going geniuses Not about fancy toys or classes Relax more and let them play About raising happy healthy intelligent kids Play = learning Scientific basis, reviewing published studies 1 plight of modern parent Too early teaching and overscheduling and pressure Focus on outcome instead of process Enjoyment Silliness Downtime to just be and reflect Academic preschools provide no academic advantage over play based. Less creative and more anxious. Reflect, resist, and re-center Consider new class/toy and if worth lowering amount of unstructured play time. Resist. Reassure self that what's best for child's learning is play. Everyday purposeful activities more important See world around you and daily activities as full of opportunities to learn different things 2 brainchild: how babies are wired to learn Mozart doesn't make baby smarter Myths Of Parents as brain sculptors That research provides manual for building better brain Hype and urgency over first years Bigger brain not necessarily better Pruning of synapses over time is natural development and growth Brain always growing and changing More stimulation not always better Enriched environment rats did better than solitary confinement rats, but Rats remaining in nature had best brains of all No child is in such unenriched environment. Lots of brain development occurs independently of experience Experience expectant behaviors (vision, speech, athletic abilities) programmed by genes to unfold expecting the experiences to happen and not needing to be architects by parents experience dependent skills like reading and chess picked up by brains throughout life and don't depend at all on early learning Ordinary experiences sufficient for experience expectant skills Second language teaching and musical training likely more effective if started early but window of opportunity large (10 years) Neurological crowding: early learning may crowd out other important synaptic connections First 3 years and critical period theory Language learning and visual learning are behaviors with critical periods Most Windows close slowly with development and relate to basic sensory and motor capacities not higher mental ones Responsive periods do not exist at all for experience dependent behaviors No need to over enrich environment Relax 3 playing the numbers: how children learn about quantity Best way to learn math is by playing with and investigating objects in their world Must first learn counting and concept of number line Babies just have sensitivity to quantity/rough amounts like more or less but not numbers Number sensitivity not same as math Not about memorizing names for quantities Number vs amount of stuff Infants pay more attention to amount not number of stuff and can tell more vs less “Counting on” strategy develops around age 5. Game for 4-6yo: count 3 items and then add 2 more and ask how many and see if counts from beginning Children learn on their own when number matter or when amount matters Game: line up objects in parallel lines for one to one correspondence Game for 3-6yo: conservation experiment with same number but more spread out rows Counting principles Children learn on own by playing with objects and talking about numbers with people One to one principle (each item counted only once). 2.5yo Stable order principle (numbers in fixed order) Game 2-4yo: count multiple sets of objects Cardinal principle: number of items in set is same as last number tag Abstraction Prínciple: can count anything Order irrelevance principle: doesn't matter where you start counting Game 2-4: ask child to count different types of things to see how he counts. Ask to start count at different objects. Ask why total is same. Number line Game 3-6: take 3 sets and ask which is biggest and smallest and if middle set bigger or smaller than other ones Counting and comparing 5-6 yo can do both Simple addition and subtraction word problems you make up as part of daily living Homemade number line game moving up and down towards finish line with dice roll. Comparing who is ahead. Having some spaces that make u move back or forward extra. Games: sorting forks from knives into sets, counting objects, exploring patterns Game 4-5: put X number of items in bag X for X up to 5. Dump out 2 bag contents and compare which has more or less. Parents provide different levels of scaffolding and support as kids age Blocks not videos. Line up, compare. Find the numbers everywhere. Shopping trip. Putting out napkins. Playing. War card game. Money coin games. Learn in context. Lemonade stand. Shopping for big and small apples. Board games for 3-4. Candy land. Baking. 4 language: the power of babble Parents don't have to be teachers Common daily interactions are enough Interact with kids over what grabs their attention already Babies in charge of directing the interaction Babies negotiate and grunt for objects they want for several turns while adult names different ones Game 9-18mo: negotiation process practice with desired object placed away Wide range in normal development Only species where language is instinct Left brain for speaking and right for expressing emotion Babies in womb already prefer mom's voice and native tongue from birth. Already learning patterns. 4 month olds divide up sentences and recognize own name Game 4-8m: sneak up and say name with same stress pattern and syllables and see if responds Babies learn words following their name. After 7.5 months don't need their name anymore. Will remember words heard in sentences. Gazing and pointing Game 6-12m: follow ur gaze and pointing finger. Just say baby's name to get attention and look elsewhere. Babble and language First year about figuring out sounds Second year for meaning First word is such that has same meaning each time it's used, used for intention to communicate, and used across contexts (picture and real thing) Game 9-18m: make list of first baby words with date first said and 3 columns (consistent meaning, attempt to communicate, variety of instances) and see when doing all these things and long it took to get to that from first usage and what context first usage was in Baby signs do help language development. Game 10-18m: teach some signs 50 words by 18 months. Once know 50, vocabulary quickly explodes (9 new words per day) Game 18-30m: write down first word combinations and what trying to say. 3-4 years: figure out grammar all on their own Game 24-36m: wug test to see what grammar rules child has internalized. Repeat every 4 months to track progress. 4th year: pragmatics How and when what language is used They figure out social rules themselves. Mimic us. Game 12-24m: notice how you train pragmatics/social conventions of speech Tell lots of stories about your childhood Parents role as language partner Keep the conversation going Brainstorm silly ways to put away toys like with toes and ask questions Talk about what child observing and doing Build on what he says Learn to separate languages around 2-2.5 Baby talk has benefits No need to correct children's speech Be a conversation elicitor not closer 5 literacy, reading Ask child questions about what reading Just make reading fun and not work Reading aloud is most important activity Early reading training doesn't keep kids ahead Just read and discuss content of book Vocabulary biggest predictor of reading ability Storytelling second major skill. Creates decontextualized language. Game 3-5y: show picture book and have child make up story. Repeat every 6 months to see how story evolves and record them. Or ask them to complete story after prompt like the funniest thing that happened to me today was Listen attentively to what kids say. Respond substantively. Phonological awareness. Words make up sounds. Games: Play games with language by singing songs or reading poems with rhymes. Seuss. Popular song replacing first letter “Mary fary bo Barry…” Alphabet song. Look for objects from car that start with certain letters. Say a word and ask child to say it without one of its parts. Game 8-20m: every 3 months record what baby does with picture book (eat, grab pics off page, point) Game 18m-3y: hand new book and see if knows what direction it goes and where is front and how pages turn and ask if story is in pictures or words Game 2-4y: make 4 cards with letter, 4 with word, with design/squiggle/shape, and with pic (16 total). Ask child to separate writing from non-writing. Ask which ones he can name. Repeat every 3-4mo. No need to formally teach letter names. Just read a lot and do literacy activities. Game 3y: ask child to tell you a story and type it up halfway down page and then after ask him to illustrate it on top with picture. Ask about something recently done or which he found exciting. May need to ask leading questions. Game 15-24m: when will kid make first mark on paper/fundamental graphic act. Provide a pencil without a point and some paper every few months. What happens when give him one with point. Letter orientation initially confused because it's the first time orientation of something matters. Relax. Go to library and allow picking out own book Read daily and show how u read for fun Magnet letters for child to find letters of his name and spell out. Copy spelling of product in kitchen with label. Lots of blank paper in different colors and writing materials Alphabet and number blocks Stamps to learn the letters. Show name spelling of someone and have child find stamps for letters and copy it over in stamps. Tell kids stories. Make up own stories together. Try word games. See how many words you can say starting with same sound. Take compound word and ask what it is without one part. Read rhyming poetry (shel Silverstein). Dialogic reading. Ask to consider other outcomes, relate what's on page to own experience, talk about sounds and letters. Encourage child to take active role during reading. Point at pics and name pics. Predict what will happen next or how characters feel. What would happen if story didn't turn out the way it did. Give feedback. Repeat back what they say but correctly. Expand on what they say. Up the ante during reading. Ask for names of parts of an object he knows. Take turns describing pics. Pretend to make mistakes so child corrects you. 6 define intelligence Children learn best through play IQ doesn't predict life success Gifted iq > 120 Gifted motivate themselves Watch what child interested in and support and build on his motivation to play Everyday experiences sufficient Mistakes they make are important for their learning Game 3-6y: conservation game test for seeing same amounts in different forms Scaffolding to help child in zone of proximal development Intelligence different from achievement/knowledge/skill Reduce number of steps so child can reach goal Stress effort not achievement 7 developing sense of self Babies not parents construct it Don't praise for intelligence Preschooler overly confident Recognize self in mirror by 21 months Game 12-24m: secretly put lipstick on baby nose and have him look in mirror to see if he reacts differently 12-18m start to prefer toys that are gender specific 2-3y know own gender 3-5y know own race Game 2-7y: try every 6 months with a magazine. Ask to point to pictures of adults and kids of different races and genders and clothes and ask to point to specific ones you name. Ask him why. Responding to baby discomfort promotes their ability to communicate Temperament genetic Need to first recognize self as separate entity to be evaluated around 2-3y before know right or wrong Slowly learn to regulate own emotion Emotional regulation develops through parents talking to kids about their emotions Game 3-6: use picture book to help kid talk through emotions. Ask why event occurred. Ask how character feels. Don't praise ability or intelligence. Effort and persistence better. Pay attention to how u talk about kids in front of them Treat child as individual and accept if different from u Let them know anything is possible Talk with them about feelings Value emotional intelligence 8 how children develop social intelligence Social skills need to be learned like academic Learned best on the job Better social skills do better at independent learning Game 1-2.5y: fake sadness and crying and see if child shows empathy To deal with frustration, show silver lining 2yo not ready to share yet because don't have perspective of other Game 12-24m: see what month baby considers ur perspective and feeds u food u want (pretend to like one food and dislike another and ask him to feed u a few min later) Development of theory of mind (others think differently) around 4yo Game 2-5yo: try false belief test Young child before theory of mind can't act vengefully or cause annoyance on purpose because can't understand reaction of other Childish lies before theory of mind develops are not real lies just wishes Look for opportunities to discuss other people's feelings and what would feel if different things happened Ask about characters in stories u read. How does he feel? How would u feel if u were he? What can his friends do to help him feel better? Explain that there are causes for people's feelings Stop bullying. More socially competent and with more friends less bullied. Intrusive controlling parenting creates vulnerability and more likely to be bullied. Develop a good friendship. Make space for social time Build strong ties with teachers and ask daily how doing with other kids. Don't ignore or belittle feelings. See world through kids eyes. 9 play Promotes all forms of learning and creativity Level of play rises when parents join in Exploratory play (touching) Functional (moving car) Symbolic (fantasy make believe with objects as symbols) Parents shouldn't lead play but can show things to raise level of play Game 12-42m: watch independent play vs when adult joins in and suggests make believe scenarios. See if child plays on own in abstract way or just exploratory. Pleasurable and enjoyable No extrinsic goals Spontaneous and voluntary Active engagement Make believe Free play as opposed to organized activities or classes promotes initiative First babies just explore objects one at a time Then will use multiple and create relations between them Later will use in appropriate ways based on each object And will start using imagination which means they can think symbolically, one object standing in for another. No longer need to use toy only for what it's meant. Game 6-16m: give 2 toys with hidden functions one by one and see if makes inference from first toy to how to play with second toy Teaches math understanding Wide range of toy materials helps Blocks Clay Convergent toys (only one right way to play like puzzles) help academics but divergent toys (no one right way like blocks) help creativity and problem solving Advanced pretend play helps with divergent problem solving and more advanced language Pretending with objects then with self then with others. Multiple actions for objects. Pretend play is dealing with symbols and so is language. Increasing complexity of pretend play linked to increasing complexity of language in words and sentence length. All kids go through same series of development steps. Will learn to substitute more dissimilar objects and eventually just imagine them Game 8m-2y: put out objects like dolls, stuffed animals, combs, baby bottles, trucks, sponge, telephone. Record age and what he does with the objects each time and what level of pretend play is exhibited and what level of language he has (single words, combos, sentences). Note what objects used as substitutes and if they resemble the target After 2.5y start to pretend play with other kids Play creates zone of proximal development Helps child separate thought and action and learn self regulation Talking to themselves they work out their fantasy and how it works Internalize scripts from culture about how world works and rules of game/world Game 3-5y: listen to script of child's play Play helps them work through difficult emotional events Allows practice of storytelling and separating story from past experience and creation of inner worlds Up to 1yo doing parallel play / independent of others 13-14m cooperative play but not sharing Age 2 take on roles 3-4yo do routines Stories start to take longer and they need to negotiate social situations Imaginary friends fine Game: Ask child to tell you story of event that happened somewhere to him and then have him and other kids play act the story Eventually will learn to follow rules not just make up Playing alone outside and with friends Set up pretend play sequence and let child take it from there “Imagination is” game: sit on bed and cover eyes with blanket and go around saying imagination is and filling in sentence with fantasy or place to travel 10 exceptional learning Teaching facts out of box removes self initiative and provides learning that isn't transferable to other contexts The best learning is that within reach Emphasize process over product EQ not just IQ Learn in context and play Eat dinner together Dictionary game: each person makes up word and definition and others guess if it's real Game night Reading night Walk night Monthly weekend family trip to local site or museum Monthly weekend cooked dinner Reggio Emilia Reflect resist recenter |
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