Max Mednik
  • Home
  • About
  • Interests
    • Angel investing
    • Magic
    • Scuba Diving
  • Blog
  • Contact

Readings and musings

Notes on What You Do Is Who You Are by Ben Horowitz

12/6/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
I really enjoyed Ben's previous book, The Hard Thing About Hard Things (especially the rap intros to each chapter). I recently heard on Tim Ferriss's podcast about Ben's newly released book, What You Do Is Who You Are: How to Create Your Business Culture. Based on how much I liked the first book, I decided to read the new one.

I found the stories and historical anecdotes interesting, and I also enjoyed hearing more "war stories" from Ben about his previous startups. I did enjoy this second book a little less than the first; its core messages were less impactful/applicable. The beginning and end of the book were solid, but the middle didn't seem to connect and flow as well in one cohesive narrative. As a book focused on culture, it did teach some important lessons; I just was hoping it would've been weaved together as well as the first book. In any case, it was still enjoyable and instructive.

Below are some of my notes and takeaways from the book.


Read More
0 Comments

Notes on You Just Don't Understand by Deborah Tannen

6/2/2014

1 Comment

 
Picture
I love language and psychology, and I had a book about cross-gender linguistic differences on my reading list for a while that I finally finished: You Just Don't Understand by Deborah Tannen.

The book was written by a sociolinguist who studies the differences in the way people talk and how that impacts their relationships and work. She found that the differences between men and women are as vast as the differences between cultures across the world.

Her book featured analyses of transcripts of children speaking to each other, and I enjoyed this type of primary source evidence.

The main themes and my takeaways from the book are the following:
  1. Men don't ask for directions :-)
  2. Women try to be equal to each other; men try to one-up each other
  3. Women judge how something impacts relationship symmetry; men judge how something impacts relationship asymmetry and hierarchy
  4. Women favor rapport talk, which is about sharing personal information to create connection; Men favor report talk, which is about sharing impersonal information to create connection
  5. By understanding certain differences in how we speak, we can learn to better understand the other person's gender-lect

I found the book to be a bit long and drawn out, and many of the points sounded too much like generalizations. I would've preferred more quantitative information as well as information about the differences within men and women, as I felt like within each category there is a large range by which each person differs from the gender stereotype. Nonetheless, I didn't find myself disagreeing with her points, and I enjoyed the collection of stories and ways she mentioned the book's lessons can be applied to work and personal situations.

1 Comment

Top 10 common Russian experiences

9/7/2011

1 Comment

 
Picture
I recently discovered Leninade soda, and it was the highlight of my day. The soda was alright, but the bottle design was hilarious -- so many little nuanced jokes and plays on words.

My wife also recently found Russian Guy/Girl Problems (and their respective Facebook groups: M/F), and we laughed literally for 45 minutes straight the first time we reviewed those sites. (We later contributed a handful of our own nuggets of wisdom.)

There's just something so funny in our experiences that are so different from mainstream American family lives. Laughing at ourselves about these differences unites us together and helps us feel like we're not alone in fending off bags of food from our parents or extra jackets to wear. I believe that every culture has these little "weirdnesses," and I'd love to hear how other cultures might be similar to or different from Russian in their attitudes towards food, children, dating, etc. I would bet the similarities outweigh the differences.

So off the top of my head, here are my top 10 "common" Russian experiences ("problemi") that resonate with me most. Not everything I list is my own personal experience or representative of my family; some of them are, and some of them are more general impressions I get from talking with friends. Leave a comment to share your own experiences (or your reaction).

1. Exotic food. The top concern of any day, any person, any babushka. What did you eat today? Everyone eats these foods at least weekly; how could you not? 
  • Ikra (caviar)
  • Borscht (beet soup)
  • Salat olivye (potato salad)
  • Kislaya kapusta (cole slaw)
  • Katleti s kartoshkoy (meatloaf with potatoes)
  • Jarkoye (meat with sauce)
  • Hren (horseradish)
  • Yazik (cow tongue)
  • Plof (rice pilaf)
  • Holodets (chicken jello with eggs)
  • Vareniki (dumplings)
  • Puree (mashed potatoes)
  • Grechnivaya kasha (buckwheat)
2. Vodka on the tables at parties (like weddings). You know it's a Russian event if there are several bottles of liquor on every table. Waiters are too slow to keep up with the Russian pace of drinking, so it's a self-service policy. Oh, and don't forget plates of food stacking on each other no less than 3 levels high, and obnoxiously loud music in the Russian nightclub (and crowds of people who should shower instead of using cologne prior to going out).

3. Hyper-involved parents. Until you are 100 years old and both of your parents have passed away, you can expect your phone to ring at least 3 times per day with urgent inquiries into your health, location, recent food consumption, and plans for all of the above for the next 2 hours until the next call. I know people who are 50, 60, 70 years old and whose parents are still calling to see if they got to their destination safely. This is obviously charming and well-intentioned, and it warms my heart to feel loved. But sometimes, it's a bit too much (like when your mom texts you on a date asking you if you brought a jacket).

Every detail of your life becomes a source for panic. One of my favorite worries is the skvaznyak (draft), like when there's a window or door open and some slight breeze coming through the house. This can sometimes be cause for the loudest yelling you've ever heard.

4. Super strict laws on relationships. Sure, they'll entertain your fancies to date people you want to according to higher-level traits like "personality," but this is all a sham; all that matters in the end is that you date someone of the same ethnic background and without question religion. Oh, and you must get married soon and have kids.

5. You can have any job, as long as it's lawyer or doctor.

6. Your mother's only happy if you're fat and hot. (Feeding you enough and ensuring you are warm are the top concerns of every mother.)

7. Clothing should be nice, upscale, and certainly not raggedy or "street"-looking. After all, you never know who you'll run into from the "community," and you can't embarrass the family. We even have a saying for when we see each other: "nashi lyudi v Hollywoodi" (our people in Hollywood -- but it rhymes nicely in Russian). Oh, and don't forget to take a jacket (even if it's 100 degrees or you're in Las Vegas).

8. Family respect is as important as if you're an Italian mafioso. Daily phone calls to all family members and weekly visits are the norm. Every time you visit someone, you fix their VCR programming, internet, and check their mail and bills. That's just what family members do for each other. Oh, and they make you sit down for "chai" and eat. The "You're not hungry and you're vegetarian? OK, I make you lamb" part from My Big Fat Greek Wedding is exactly what I'm talking about.

9. Don't you dare break a superstition. Too many to keep track of; I keep learning new ones every year I had never heard of. Here's a sampler:
  • Not allowed to cut your nails after it's dark.
  • Can't come home after you left. If have to come home because forgot something, have to look in the mirror.
  • Can't wear clothing inside out. If you do, have to step on it three times.
  • Can't step on someone's foot. If you do, they have to step on you back.
  • Must sit down in silence before a trip.
  • Turn over a glass if you misplace something.
  • Spit on someone when they're yawning.
10. Respect your tradition. It's ok to laugh at yourself, but in the end, we have tremendous respect for our family members and the immigrants who risked their lives and left everything behind to come to America. We have a rich cultural (and food) history, and that deserves to be kept alive and passed on from generation to generation.
1 Comment
<<Previous

    Archives

    June 2021
    May 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    April 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010

    Categories

    All
    Angel Investing
    Cacti
    Cars
    China
    Community Service
    Culture
    Design
    Djing
    Dogs
    Education
    Entertainment
    Entrepreneurship
    Family
    Finance
    Food
    Google
    Happiness
    Incentives
    Investment Banking
    Judaism
    Law
    Lighting
    Magic
    Marketing
    Medicine
    Networking
    Nolabound
    Philosophy
    Professionalism
    Psychology
    Reading
    Real Estate
    Religion
    Romance
    Sales
    Science
    Shangri-La
    Social Entrepreneurship
    Social Media
    Sports
    Teams
    Technology
    Travel
    Turtles
    Ucla
    Venture Capital
    Web Services
    Weddings
    Zen

    Subscribe

    RSS Feed

Picture
Picture
  • Home
  • About
  • Interests
    • Angel investing
    • Magic
    • Scuba Diving
  • Blog
  • Contact