Max Mednik
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Readings and musings

Secrets of adulthood

9/13/2011

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I still can't believe I'm an adult. I feel like I'm constantly learning and constantly so much less knowledgeable or skilled than those I admire and aspire to be like. Growing up is hard; being an adult-sized kid is a lot more fun. (And our toys are bigger and cooler now that we've grown up.)

Inspired by the author of The Happiness Project, I decided to write down my own secrets or lessons of adulthood that I've gathered over time. I'm sure this list will expand and morph, and it'll be interesting to see how that happens.
  1. Most often, the most likely explanation is the right one. But you have to be prepared to be wrong.
  2. It's much better to feel pleasantly surprised than disappointed. That's why I always operate under the assumption I'm failing and can improve; if I succeed in something, that's then a pleasant surprise. So when I take a test, I always prepare for failure and assume I got a low or average grade; if that happens, it's as expected; if I do better, it's a pleasant surprise.
  3. Find advisers and service providers you can trust. Life is a lot more fun and educational (and a business can grow a lot more quickly) when you have people you can trust to help you or give advice. Doing everything (or even most things) yourself is not the right answer.
  4. People are so much more important than content. Huge business deals, politics, careers -- they're all driven so much more by who knows who and networking than by talent or merit. Talent and merit are required for execution, but people and personal connections are what create the opportunities for execution.
  5. Everyone thinks about themselves so much more than they think about others; everyone is just as self-conscious as you are, even (sometimes especially) extremely beautiful women. So cut yourself some slack; no one will notice all the hundreds of things you're afraid they'll notice; they're too busy with themselves.
  6. Enjoy life your way; you don't have to fit in all the time.
  7. Do something extremely difficult every day. Do the most difficult, annoying, bothersome task on your list every day early. It's the only way to grow.
  8. Exercise is a lot more fun when it's accompanied by really good music and/or a crazy instructor or buddy.
  9. Nothing calms you down and reconnects you with nature like the ocean.
  10. Step up; no one else will. 99% of people don't have their shit together enough to do what they promise. Learn what you don't know, do what you promise, and get difficult shit done off your tasks towards your long-term goals -- formula for success.
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