Notes on Solve for Happy by Mo Gawdat

A fellow Xoogler recommended to me the book Solve for Happy: Engineer Your Path to Joy by Mo Gawdat. I just finished it and thoroughly enjoyed it. While the last chapter on "intelligent design" may seem the most controversial, the rest of the book is grounded on (much less controversial) science and simple practical tools for happiness. The book covers mental biases, getting over fears, using meditation, and presents many other techniques and ideas that can help bring peace and happiness to everyday life.

I identified a lot with the author as he is an engineer and Xoogler. The story of the loss of his son and the many associated anecdotes related to that were gut-wrenching; it's amazing that someone who has lived through that can write a book to help others be happy. There are so many good lessons in this book, and I highly recommend it. My main notes and takeaways are below.

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Intro
Hedonic treadmill

Part 1

1 setting up the equation
Happiness is not outside but inside
Default state is happiness
Happiness is the absence of unhappiness
Jot down happiness list. I feel happy when
Happiness is when life behaves the way you want it to
Happiness is perception of events of life minus expectations of events of life
It’s not events but our thoughts about them that make us happy or not
Happiness in a thought 
Blank brain test
Once the thought goes, the happiness or unhappiness disappears

2 675
Fun quota
Daily target of music
Weekly target of comedy, movies, etc
Uninterrupted happiness is joy
6 illusions
7 blind spots
5 ultimate truths

Part 2 Grand illusions

3 that little voice in your head
That voice is not you
Real you is the silence between the thoughts
The brain is talking but not you
Top priority is to keep you safe
Two systems and speeds of thinking
The more something matters, the more incessant thought is left out of it
Brain produces thoughts for you to consider
You tell your brain what to do and focus on. You need to be the boss. 
I am therefore my brain thinks
Useful thinking
Insightful, logical 
Experiential
Narrative (chatter). Useless
The suffering cycle
Decide to take action on a thought and put attention on monitoring the result of the action
Stop the thought from turning into suffering. Fix blind spots to see events for what they really are. 
Managing the voice
Controllable versus non-controllable devices in your body. Heart not controllable. Muscles are. Brain is. 
Observe the dialogue
Let the brain speak like characters of a sitcom. Don’t need to get involved. 
Observe the drama
Acknowledge how you feel
Reframe the thought
Trace emotion to the thought that caused it
Bring me a better thought
You’re so silly brain. Why don’t you bring me a better thought?
Fill mind with another thought
Your brain can be primed
Prime your brain with happy thoughts
Just replace unhappy thought with happy one
Use happy list. Carry on index card or photos on phone. 
Use thought about a positive not a negative
Make list of generic questions to prime happy thoughts about any tough situation
What is good about this situation
What do I like about it
What’s in the full half of the glass
Go get me a happier thought
Shut the duck up
Quieting voice
Meditating on present. Beauty of rose or breath. 
Flood brain with things it can only observe. Smell, light. Wood grain. Sound of cars. Notice details. Tune in to body. 
Brain is serial processor so this makes it stop

4 who are you
Illusion of self
Illusions of Physical form, ego, persona
Who you really are much deeper
Test of perception: If you are the subject able to observe objects around you then you are not those objects
Test of permanence: if an aspect changes then it’s not you
Who are you not
Body
Just rental car or physical avatar that takes you on a journey
Thoughts
Emotions
Beliefs
Name
Group belong to
Family tree
Achievements
Can’t observe what you are
Who you are. The real you
The observer
The one aware of all that’s happening around you
You are not to be seen. You are the one who sees. 
Mind can’t comprehend this. Brain has physical instruments that Only can observe physical world but real you not physical
Like trying to see the color of a smell or seeing radio waves around you
Can’t observe from outside yourself
Theft or setback or accident or death can’t affect the real you
Who do you think you are
Ego
Sense of identity
Born without this and live in present moment
Start becoming addicted to maintaining your image
Roles we play
Work we do matters more than the masks we wear
Masquerade
Ignore the cup and just enjoy the coffee
Undress. Remove all false layers. 
Stand in front of mirror and remove anything without basic utility
Stop seeking acceptance from others
Star of the movie
You aren’t center of universe
Good is never all good and bad is never all bad
Tons of interconnected things and people. Not just about one person as star. 
You are not the star of the movie. Just a supporting actor
Look at night sky

5 what you know
Eliminate arrogance and obsession with being right and illusion of knowledge
Unknown unknowns
Scientific theories keep getting disproven
DDAA: discovery debate acceptance arrogance and repeat cycle
Words as tool are limited
Know extent of your ignorance
Attachment to knowledge linked to ego
Life nudges you in direction to go
Eraser test
What if you could erase any life event including its consequences
Sometimes events we think of as bad end up being good
Bad experiences as nudges
You never know for sure at the time
Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so

6 does anyone know what time it is
Time is biggest illusion
Time just mechanical construct
Time subjective 
Not real or permanent
Events based vs clock based culture
Timeless
Happy emotions mostly anchored in the present
Present is all there is
Living in thoughts (past, present) is bad
Clock time (logistical) may be useful whereas brain time (thoughts about other times) is not 
No matter where you live, the answer to the chapter title question is NOW

7 Houston we have a problem
Illusion of control
Unanticipated events. Black swans
Butterfly effect
Only two things under your control: your actions and your attitude
Detachment from outcome
Committed acceptance. Take responsible action and then give up worry over outcome
All is going to be fine in the end. If it’s not yet fine, it’s not yet the end
Thriving out of control
Let go of what don’t have control over

8 might as well jump
Admit you're afraid
Fear drives most decisions and indecision
Not really free
Understand what fear is
Comes from conditioned response
Name your fear
Many hidden fears
Understand your brain’s fear games
Fear hides and morphs
Mind can overcome physical and emotional pain
Brain can’t regenerate physical pain but can emotional pain
Layers of protection around core fear. Safe model
Make the vow
Face your fears
Actions not fears keep you safe
Take the leap
Commit self to facing it
Sign up for opportunities to face fears
The Interrogation
What’s the worst that can happen
So what
How likely is it
Is there anything I can do now to prevent this scenario
Prepare and practice
Can I recover
What will happen if I do nothing. What’s price of status quo
What is the best case scenario
Nothing you have to really lose
Learn to die before you die so you can live fearlessly 

Part 3 blind spots
7 blind spots
Pessimism

9 is it true
7 features 
Filters
Assumptions
Predictions
Memories
Labels
Emotions
Exaggeration
Tendency to be grumpy
Brain has tendency to spot what’s wrong more quickly than what’s ok
Majority of thoughts negative
Worrying is brain’s default position
Negativity bias
Prospect theory: avoiding negative more important
More negative words in dictionary
Negative people seen as smarter
Way more events in life are positive than negative but not so to brain
Better to focus on the white of the page than the black of the ink
Overreactions
None of the chatter in our head is true
7 blind spots
Filters
Assumptions
Predictions 
Memories
Labels
Emotions
Exaggeration
Keep asking brain for more truth
Look at words used
Keep asking is it true

Part 4 ultimate truths
5 truths
Loss
Lack
Pain
Growth
Inspiration
When accepted then reality will match expectations and happiness equation will be solved
Truth will set you free
These are his truths 
Choose to believe in the side that makes you happy

10 right here, right now
Now is real
Be fully aware of present moment
Just do nothing to be aware
Being is awareness, not doing
Default state is awareness
Non-doing
Four corners for meditation
World around you
Inside your body
Thoughts and emotions
Connection To the rest of being
Be an awareness fanatic
Count number of trees u see
Monitor posture and water consumption 
Monitor if treat some differently from others
Try to remember as much of day as you can
Start a positive events journal
Monitor the times you’re not aware
Reduce the distractions 
Me time appointments to just be with u
Switch off data connection on weekend
Stop
Stop all until you notice 10 things around you
Make a totem as reminder to be aware
Prayer beads in pocket
Timeless time
No access to any time instruments for some period of time or place
Whatever you do do it well
Focus attention on process
Perform all steps carefully
Do only one thing at a time
Be fully present

11 the pendulum swing
Change is constant
Multiverse
Project cockpit: can’t control all
Find the path. Tao. Simple path. 
Let things settle naturally
Minimum effort for life of balance
Look down not up to appreciate what you have

12 love is all you need
Unconditional love is a Feeling without a thought. 
True joy of true love is in giving it
Love everything and everyone
Remove the mask of ego
Love yourself
Write down what proud of and positive things about you
Be kind
Spending money on others makes you happier than spending on yourself

13 LIP
Other cultures celebrate the dead
We die a little daily
Death not enemy and serves purpose
Death not always unwelcome
Death not painful
Death can’t be treated
Observation creates the outcome
Real you as observer was before and after you. Still exist even after physical form done
Life independent of all physical and observes it where no before or after
Never really die
Everyday a version of each person passes and doesn’t return
Live life while can
Life is a rental
Live in peace
Life as first person avatar/game. Fun even if it challenges your avatar. Different levels of game that teach you different things over time. Always play on Hardest difficulty to learn. 

14 who made who
Grand design and pattern idea
Events follow equations
Is there a designer
Absence vs presence
Has vs could
Probabilities of random accident vs intelligent design 
Nothing random. All part of huge design
Equations not designer part of life
No randomness in life. Just equations in life
Life always needs realistic expectations. Need to adjust expectations
Accept the design

Afterword