Notes on Lying by Sam Harris

I've had a really crazy month and a half, but things are settling down a bit now, so I want to catch up on blog posts for the books I completed earlier this year.

I enjoyed Sam Harris's Waking Up book and have recently been getting into his podcast by the same name. I heard about his Lying book, and I found it to be an interesting, quick read which hit on a lot of good points that I hadn't thought much about. Since reading it, I have noticed myself paying more attention to the concept of honesty in all its forms.


Below are my notes on the book.

​Lying is intentionally hoping to deceive others who expect honest communication
 
Ppl lie so others form beliefs that are not true
 
Truthfulness is being accurate to one's beliefs
 
Doesn't require speaking whole truth
 
All lies harm relationship
 
Two types of lies: omission vs commission
 
White lies
Not ok
Deny friends access to reality
“Thank you but it's not my style”
False encouragement bad. Steals time from another person. 
 
Medical deception
Misses opportunities for bonding
 
Trust
Tiny erosions to trust from white lies on canceling events
Sets bad example in front of kids
Do not lie
 
Fake praise
Wastes time
Criticism is what we most need to hear
Allows others to trust u when u say something good
 
Secrets
Don't have to disclose everything
Keeping secret is a burden
Worth avoiding
 
Mental accounting
 
Integrity
Avoiding behavior leading to remorse
Don't pretend to be someone ur not
 
Big lies
Illusory truth effect: Familiarity breeds credence.
 
Conclusion
Recoiling from relationship
 
Children
Still only tell truth
Kids love fiction even when know it
 
Surprise parties bad
Can still say there's a party or trip but keep destination a mystery

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