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Readings and musings

Notes on How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

4/30/2012

1 Comment

 
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I read a book by Dale Carnegie when I was growing up, and I enjoyed it, so I decided to see what his writing was like a second time around. As someone who frequently takes things too seriously and is apt to worrying, I figured I might also pick up something useful from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.

The story is based on the author's experience in leaving his job to be happier and teaching classes on speaking and worrying less. I enjoyed learning more about his background as a "Missourah" farmer ("that old 'Missourah' farmhouse"). The book is a long collection of many anecdotes, so while it's not scientific, it's at least entertaining and interesting. Many of the pieces of advice are somewhat cliched (or perhaps this book created many of these since it was published so long ago), but it was a nice reminder of what's important in life and how to not sweat the small stuff.

Below are my full notes.

Part 1: Fundamental parts of worry

Ch. 1: Live in day tight compartments
  • Live in day tight compartments (shut out future and past)
  • Only work on what's clearly at hand now
Ch. 2: Magic formula
  • Think of the worst possible that can happen
  • Mentally accept the worst possible
  • Improve on the worst
Ch. 3: What worry may do to you
  • Those who can't fight worry die young
  • Lots of medical problems
  • Recreation
  • Religion
  • Laughter
  • Music
  • Smiling
Part 2: Basic techniques in analyzing worry

Ch. 4: How to analyze worry problems
  • Get facts
  • Analyze facts
  • Decide
  • Act
  • What are you worrying about
  • What can you do about it
  • What are you going to do about it
  • When can you start
Ch. 5: How to eliminate 50% of my business worries
  • Have employees write down memo of answers to 4 questions
  • What is the problem
  • What is the cause
  • What are all the possible solutions
  • What is your recommended solution
Part 3: How to break worry habit

Ch. 6: How to crowd worry out of your mind
  • Doing work replaces worrying
  • Busy yourself
Ch. 7: Don't let the little get you down
  • Forget about little trivialities
  • Don't make small nags
  • Little beetles of worry
  • Can be crushed with your thumb
  • Life too short to be little
Ch. 8: A law to outlaw your worries
  • Law of averages
  • Things we fear unlikely to happen
  • Let's examine the record
Ch. 9: Cooperate with the inevitable
  • Be willing to have it so
  • Accept difficulties quickly
  • Carry on and smile
  • Try to bear lightly what needs must be
  • Accept things I can't change
  • Change what I can
  • Wisdom to know difference
Ch. 10: Put a stop loss order on your worries
  • If someone late by x minutes, move on
  • Give impatience or worries small leeway then move on
  • Stop loss on small relationship problems; stop complaining for things after a long time
  • Just say enough now in fights
  • Whenever tempted to throw good money after bad
  • How important is this
  • Have I already paid more than it Is worth
Ch. 11: Don't saw saw dust
  • Can't change past events
  • Just analyze past and forget it
  • Don't cry over spoiled milk
  • Forget mistakes you make quickly
  • Don't cross your bridges until you come to them
  • Can't saw saw dust because already sawed, just like past
  • Dont worry about past lost games
  • Cant wash grain With water that's down the creek
  • Prisoners write off misfortunes and accept life and enjoy it
Part 4: 7 ways to cultivate mental attitude of peace and attitude

Ch. 12: 8 words that can change your life
  • What you think about makes you what you are
  • Man is what he thinks of all day
  • Biggest task: choosing your task
  • Marcus Aurelius: Our life is what our thoughts make it
  • Assume positive attitude
  • Be concerned but not worried
  • Calmly take steps to address
  • Hypnosis of positive or negative attitude changes muscle tests
  • Tremendous power of thought
  • Our thoughts about our misfortunes more important than the misfortunes
  • Regulate our actions which then change our feelings
  • Act and speak as if feeling happy
  • Smile, sing, hum no matter what
  • Act as if everything normal, force yourself
  • Just for today I will be happy
  • Just for today I will adjust myself to what is instead of what want
  • I will take care of my body
  • Try to strengthen my mind with reading and something that needs thinking and concentration
  • Exercise my soul: do 2 things I don't want to do, give back
  • Be agreeable, dress nice, don't improve or criticize others 
  • Live through this day only
  • Have a program for every hour to not hurry 
  • Have a quiet half hour for myself and relax
  • Be unafraid and believe in love
Ch. 13: High cost of getting even
  • Hurt myself more than other person
  • Resentment leads to hypertension
  • Refuse to get angry at anything
  • absorb yourself in cause bigger than self
  • I have no time for quarrels, regrets, or hate
  • Keep me from judging man before walking in his shoes for 2 weeks
  • Love enemies
  • Don't think about ppl we don't like
Ch. 14: Don't worry about ingratitude
  • Never expect gratitude
  • Give for inner joy of giving
  • Teach gratitude to children
Ch. 15: Will you take $1M for what you have
  • 90% of things are right, only 10% not
  • Concentrate on the 90%
  • Would not sell what we have for $1 million
  • Be happy of what you have instead of think of what lack
  • Count blessings each morning
  • Count your blessings not your troubles
Ch. 16: Find yourself and be yourself
  • Don't combine a bunch of stuff from others
  • Write your own book, voice
  • Be the best of whatever you are
  • Don't imitate others
Ch. 17: If you have a lemon, make lemonade
  • Best things are the most difficult
  • Infirmities can end up helping
  • Don't capitalize on gains, profit from losses
Ch. 18: How to cure depression in 14 days
  • Think every day on how can please someone
  • Do a good deed everyday
  • By giving happiness we receive
  • Think of workers as human beings, make personal comments and compliments
  • Take interest in others
  • Lose yourself in service to others
Part 5: Perfect way to conquer worry

Ch. 19: How my parents conquered worry
  • Farmer parents, difficult life
  • Nothing but debts in the end
  • Parents religious
  • Interested in religion like body and electricity, useful even If not understood
  • Turn over worries to divine to take care of
  • Prayer requires putting problem in words which is useful
Part 6: How to keep from worrying about criticism

Ch. 20: No one beats a dead dog
  • Ppl get satisfaction from kicking something good
  • Ppl just jealous
Ch. 21: Do this and criticism can't hurt you
  • Ppl way more concerned about themselves than others
  • Ignore only unjust criticism
  • Just do best you can
Ch. 22: Few things I've done
  • Review week
  • Franklin reviewed daily
  • Battled one fault per week for 2 years
  • Companies poll employees for feedback
  • Ask for unbiased helpful criticism
Part 7: 6 ways to prevent fatigue

Ch. 23: How to add one hour per day waking
  • Take frequent rests
  • Short map in afternoon
  • Rest before you get tired
Ch. 24: What makes you tired and what you can do about it
  • Mental attitude makes fatigue
  • Relax while you're doing your work
  • Body relaxed like a limp sock or cat
Ch. 25: Avoid fatigue and stay young
  • FInd someone to discuss problems with
  • Keep a notebook of inspirational quotes and photos
  • Don't dwell on shortcomings of others
  • Get interested in ppl
  • Make schedule for next day at night
  • Relax
  • Lie flat on floor, tense muscles then let them relax let go of neck
  • Breathe deep down
Ch. 26: Four working habits to prevent fatigue
  • Clear desk of all except current problem
  • Order is heaven's first law
  • Do things in order of importance
  • If face a problem, decide then and there
  • Organize, deputize, supervise
Ch. 27: How to banish the boredom that produces fatigue
  • Fatigue from boredom, not work
  • Do things you enjoy
  • Do your work as if you enjoy it
  • Acting will make your interest real
  • Daily pep talks to yourself
Ch. 28: How to keep from worrying about insomnia
  • Let go
  • Pray
  • Talk to your body and tell it to relax
  • Put pillow under legs and arms
  • If we get tired enough, will sleep
  • If can't sleep get up and work
Part 8: How I conquered worry
  • Don't stew over events that haven't happened or out of control
  • Patience and time resolve troubles
  • Live with enthusiasm
  • Read an interesting book
  • Play games, physically active
  • Relax while you work
  • See troubles from long term perspective
1 Comment
Manas Pruthi link
7/18/2017 11:19:59 am

The advice Carnegie gives is all stuff you've heard before, but he pairs it with compelling stories about people who've taken the worrying to an extreme and who've totally turned their lives around by ditching their angst. Some of my favorite points:

Fatigue comes from stress, not from work.

Becoming wise is a path. As you go, remember that compassionate, considered responses make life more manageable.

Contented life is a choice.

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