I recently read Happier Hour: How to Beat Distraction, Expand Your Time, and Focus on What Matters Most by Cassie Holmes, and I really liked it. My wife and I both read it together and both learned a lot. Cassie is a professor at UCLA Anderson where I got my MBA, and she's also a parent at the school my son attends. It was so neat to hear about her life experiences and all the lessons she drew from them and how she solved various problems as I could relate to a lot of the same situations. I found her suggested exercises really helpful too. Some specific things I started doing more consistently after reading this are exercising daily 30 minutes and working to appreciate each moment by remembering how few of them are left in my life. Below are some of my notes and takeaways on the book. I definitely recommend this book to anyone who wants to figure out how to use their time more wisely or for anyone who feels time poor (i.e., any parent). 1 time poor and tired
Discretionary time study Inverted U Too little and too much free time both bad Time poverty 2-5 hours per day free ideal Between 2-5 it’s the same; not about quantity but about how you spend it Time more finite resource than money Outsource certain things 2 all the time in the world Time scarcity Skipping exercise makes you less happy Feeling time poor makes you less kind and less confident Promotion vs prevention focus Time relativity: flies faster when you’re having fun Limit your list Use social media only to message and stay connected to loved ones Reduce time spent scrolling On-demand activities Chores Expand your confidence Feeling more self-efficacy makes you feel temporally richer Get moving exercise: 30 min daily this week and next Carve out on schedule Don’t let great be enemy of good Jot down note or voice message to self about how you feel after for next time you don’t feel like you can do it Expand to others Do something for someone else Those who gave time to others felt they had more spare time Spending time on others makes you feel higher self efficacy and time rich Random acts of kindness exercise Perform random of act of kindness twice this week: one for friend and one for stranger Pay compliment Pay for someone’s order at cafe Bring flower or note Ultimate expansion Feeling awe like when looking at ocean makes you feel more time rich Social interactions can inspire awe Nature Art Accomplishment 3 wiser spending Happiness influenced by personality Also determined by our thoughts and behavior Time travel Track your time Table of half hour blocks per week Print from her website cassiemholmes.com Note what you did and how you felt Be specific about what did instead of just category Happiness on 1-10 scale Be honest about how actually felt Record in real-time throughout day or as soon as you can Track for 1-2 weeks Research into activities Most enjoyable are those socializing with loved ones Finding your happier hours Identity your favorite activities Find 3 top rated activities Find commonalities like what thing, what place, what person Identify your least favorite activities Look for common underlying features of each set Invest in your closest relationships Reciprocal deepening personal info in conversations Conversation starter cards People are happier outdoors Activities to avoid Loneliness Obligatory activities Wasteful Time tracking exercise: calculate your current expenditures Tally up time spent on various activities Calculate % of waking hours per activity Mood boosters Exercise 30 min per day Sleep Get sleep exercise 4 nights this week or at least 7-8 hours of sleep No caffeine or exercise after 3pm No screens in bedroom Wake up same time daily Make bedroom cold (65), dark, and quiet Expose self to sunlight upon waking If can’t sleep, read something boring in another room Melatonin, tart Cherry juice, bananas, warm milk can help 4 waste management Chores needn’t be a chore Outsource chores Bundle with fun Temptation bundling Linking exercise or chore with something enjoyable Work can be fun Job crafting exercise Finding purpose Why do you specifically do the work (domain) you do broadly Ask why several times to go deeper 5 why’s Make a friend at work Have a work bestie Commuting better Use the time to read or do something enjoyable (bundling) Audio books Podcasts Learn foreign language Call and catch up with family and friends Standing weekly phone date Can do even more if hands free in public transit Increasing connection 5 pause and smell the roses Hedonic adaptation Realize your time left for good things is limited Higher age makes you appreciate ordinary experiences more Witnessing crisis makes you appreciate more Life stage changes Counting and knowing days are numbered Pick an activity you like Count how many done already and how many left in life Bedtimes left exercise Thu morning coffee date with daughter Make it special Document with photo Make tradition Name the event Give it a break Renewed enjoyment of something after a break Add some variety Trying something new on date nights 6 driven to distraction Live the actual moment Planning for future/doing tasks vs being in the moment People less happy when distracted Treat your weekend like a vacation Increased attention throughout the weekend led to higher happiness Can do it midweek too Practice meditating 10 min per day but can start with 3-5 5 senses meditation during walk Apply it during work Shut the door The zone, flow Clear space Clean off desk Clear schedule for a few hours Create space when most alert Close door to office at home or work Put in ear plugs or headphones Close out of email Put phone out of sight Put phone away Disconnect from all digital devices for 6 hours Digital detox exercise Jewish Shabbat weekly 7 the time jar Stones, pebbles, sand analogy Stones family Pebbles work Sand small stuff Must first fill with stones to have space for the other stuff after Social media and tv usage higher than expected Tendency to overcommit Falsehood that we will have more time available later Solution: only say yes to requests you would be happy to spend time on today Purpose filter Only say yes to things that match your purpose Happiness filter Which activities likely to bring you joy Your golf balls/stones Reflect on part 2 weeks and record what activities brought greatest joy Joyful activities exercise: list out top 3 from past 2 weeks Carve out time for quiet reflection Clear out distractions Hide phone Prioritize your priorities Hyperopia: too focused on the future Commitment device: impose a cost if you don’t follow through on your goal Prepay for babysitter to come weekly Make the time 8 time crafting You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf Your canvas Can print from website Step 1; set already set tiles Required activities Step 2: place joyful tiles first Protect time for joyful connection Date night Protect joyful times by making them no-phone zone Family dinner Maximize times of joy by outsourcing chores Meal delivery service Assign time to focus on what’s good Reflect on what grateful for Gratitude journal Everyone share favorite part of day Establish tradition for regularly getting together Thu morning coffee date Dedicate time to foster friendship Connect with other parents at kids’ activities Book club Bundle activity you want to do with one you have to do Phone dates Calls while in transit Run dates Protect time without distractions to pursue your sense of purpose Schedule times you need to be alert for when naturally alert Block off time for work towards purpose For times you want to be productive, remove distractions and set up conditions optimal for flow Door closed, ringer off, e-mail closed Step 3: leave some space Actually block it off Carve out time for you to spend how you want Divide up mornings with partner for who is responsible to get kids out the door and other one is off duty and free. Other parent can’t intervene when not their morning. No maternal gate keeping. Full and complete delegation. Spend your time off however you please. Yoga class. Hobby. Reading. Carve out time to think Schultz hour Running with no podcast or music and just deep thinking about strategic questions Protect time to do nothing Reserve Sunday afternoons unscheduled Step 4: sequence your tiles Break up and spread out the activities you enjoy Create more beginnings Spread out the good stuff Turn off tv 10 min before show ends Consolidate the activities you don’t enjoy Chores Batch into one block weekly Bundle activity you enjoy with one you have to do but don’t enjoy Schedule a positive activity right after a negative one Boba walk with friend after an undesirable meeting Continually revisit your positive experiences Think about fun experiences you had and feel grateful The beauty of the mosaic Step back and appreciate whole week Can do it all across the whole week Can focus on each activity 9 the time of your life Broader view of life as a whole Zoom out Birds Eye view Think in terms of years not hours Instead of whether, consider when Age based shifts For older people, ordinary experiences are more meaningful than extraordinary ones What constitutes a happy life will change Considering entire life informs how to spend time now on important not urgent things Your end of life: how do you want to be remembered Write your eulogy What do you want your legacy to be Eulogy exercise The wisdom of others Interview someone you admire who is a lot older Looking back on your life, what are your greatest sources of pride and of regret What has turned out to matter more than you expected and less than you expected Carve out more time for relationships Gratitude letter exercise Send letter to someone you have not properly thanked Biggest regrets come from inactions not actions References Confidence code Humor seriously How to change
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