Notes on Games People Play by Eric Berne

I recently read the book Games People Play by Eric Berne, which was originally published almost 50 years ago. It has to do with the social/psychological "transactions" that are so common in everyday interactions in personal and business settings. Though some of the example dialogue and situations were dated, almost every single "game" described is still "played" today in some form.

Introduction

• Transaction analysis
  
• Stroking: recognition one person gives another, essential for physical and psychological health
• Ego states: Parent, Child, Adult
• Game analysis: con + gimmick = response -> switch -> payoff

Transactional analysis

• Complementary vs. crossed transactions (ego state combos)
  
• Procedures
• Rituals
• Pastimes

Games

• Thesis
• Aim
• Roles
• Dynamics
• Examples
• Paradigm
• Moves
• Advantages: internal psychological, external psychological, internal social, external social, biological, existential

Life games

• Alcoholic (how bad I've been, self-castigation)
• Debtor, Try and Collect, Creditor, Try and Get Away With It (Why Does This Always Happen To Me)
• Kick Me
• Now I've Got You, You SOB
• See What You Made Me Do

Marital games

• Corner
• Courtroom
• Frigid Woman
• Harried (Housewife)
• If It Weren't For You
• Look How Hard I've Tried
• Sweetheart

Party games

• Ain't It Awful (gossip)
• Blemish
• Schlemiel
• Why Don't You -- Yes But

Sexual games

• Let's You And Him Fight
• Perversion
• Rapo/Kiss Off
• The Stocking Game
• Uproar

Underworld games

• Cops and Robbers
• How Do You Get Out Of Here
• Let's Pull A Fast One On Joey

Consulting room games

• Greenhouse (psychiatry)
• I'm Only Trying To Help You
• Indigence
• Peasant
• Psychiatry
• Stupid
• Wooden Leg (plea of insanity)

Good games

• (Benefits outweigh costs of complexity of motivations.)
• Busman's Holiday
• Cavalier
• Happy To Help
• Homely Sage
• They'll Be Glad They Knew Me

Significance of games

• Passed on from generation to generation
• Raising children = teaching them what games to play
• People pick as friends people who play the same games.
• Though they serve various functions, better to communicate in Adult-Adult ego states and avoid games (though very difficult)
• Autonomy: awareness, spontaneity, intimacy (hard to escape patterns learned in childhood from interactions with parents and games but can be liberating)