A local parenting author I've been following came out with a book recently giving very tactical advice on dealing with everyday situations and what kind of language can be most effective and respectful. I finally got a chance to read it and really enjoyed it: Now Say This: The Right Words to Solve Every Parenting Dilemma by Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright.
It read like a combination of RIE-inspired philosophy applied to daily situations. Half the scripts/examples sounded just like the best preschool teachers and directors I've seen in action and heard "in the field." Going through this book gave me a really good mindset for how to generate my own ways of saying the main ideas. I also found the ALP approach (Attune, Limit Set, Problem Solve) to be applicable to so many situations (in parenting and outside it).
I highly recommend this book to any parent. Probably in the top 5 parenting books I've ever read.
My notes on the biggest takeaways and example scripts are below. The book is filled with so many more details and example scripts and conversations.
I just finished reading Duct Tape Parenting by Vicki Hoefle, and it's probably the best parenting book I've read in about a year. Such a wake-up call and such a dead-on diagnosis of problems I've personally experienced.
The title sounds silly, but so many friends and authors I respect recommended it to me, so I checked it out. The title comes from the core strategy: putting duct tape over your mouth and hands to stop yourself from nagging/directing/commenting on/fixing your child's problems. It focuses on training and relationship strategies rather than "band aid techniques" (e.g., nagging/time-outs) for treating bullet wounds (severe training and relationship deficiencies).
I found a lot of value in the examples of how parents applied the ideas in the book to their lives. I also liked the detailed training roadmap that goes through the life skills and social skills kids should master at each age level in order to be ready to be independent by age 18.
I highly recommend this and wish I found it sooner. Now I just need to go get some duct tape....
See below for my full notes on the book.
I just finished reading Baby Makes Three by John Gottman. Before I got married, I learned a lot from his other more popular book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and after that I also enjoyed his book What Makes Love Last.
I finally got around to reading the sequel about relationships in parenthood, and I found it a good refresher of his main lessons. Overall, it had a lot of overlap with the other two books, and the examples it drew upon were all based on conflicts and difficulties caused by having a baby. A lot of that resonated with my experience. Even though the lessons were similar to other books, it was a good refresher to read over the years, and I found the points around softened startup and the research around heart rate during flooding to be interesting and useful.
My full notes on the book are below.