Notes on Puddle Jumpers by Brandon Webb

I recently finished reading ​Puddle Jumpers: Simple and Proven Ways to Raise Confident & Joyful Kids by Brandon Webb, a former Navy SEAL, sniper coach, and father of three. It was inspiring to hear his stories of SEAL life and how some of those lessons translate to parenting.

I appreciated how authentic he was in talking about some very raw and difficult situations he got in with his family and how he worked through them. Many of the lessons in here overlap with other books I recently read, but it was still a helpful read. My daughter definitely loves jumping in "splashy muddy" puddles, and this book is a helpful reminder to hold back my clean-freak tendencies and let her enjoy life.

I highly recommend this book to any parent or any fan of Navy SEALs. My main notes and takeaways are below.

---

​Intro
Kids who aren’t afraid of getting dirty
Prepare children for world not protect them from it
The only easy day was yesterday

1 cultivating mental strength
Don’t pray for easy life but for skills to deal with hard one
Trees need stress of wind to grow strong
Visualization
Mindset drills
Debriefs
Positive self talk routines
Mental rehearsal
High self images
Take a break when struggling
Positive teaching style
Focus on positives not negatives
Mentally rehearse emergency contingencies

2 building confidence
Crawl, walk, run
Bike
Scuba certification
Dog
Show your failures
Let them fall along the way
Ordinary magic: errands and responsibilities
Never let a good tragedy go to waste
Mentors for your kids
Have them plan a hike
Earning not entitlement 
Ask what would you do differently next time

3 disciplining with love
Pushups and wall sits a minute for every year of age and removing things as punishments 
They don’t count unless you count
Reward good behavior
More reward for intellectual achievement over sports
Must follow through on threats you will enforce
Children should see they’re a priority for you
Get to root cause and ask kid why they misbehaved
Always understand the why behind a behavior before imposing consequences 
Praise in public. Discipline in private. 

4 raising kids with purpose 
Help them discover what they are into
Travel
Giving at homeless shelters
Room to explore
Encourage them to finish what they start
Kids write vision statement and goals in each area of life

5 modeling heathy habits
Must have good sleep and nutrition 
Healthy eating starts at home
Must become expert at new subject as parent
Whole food plant based
Have kids do physical activity then give them only healthy options to eat 
Make the meal a memory
Do it for dad
Lead by example 

6 designing digital defense
Screen time
Social media
Digital scammers
Harmful content
Exemplary leadership
Put down parent phone
Set digital rules
No cell phone until 13
No social media until high school
No devices at mealtime. Can read book if bored. 
No messaging apps like telegram or signal
No screens before bed

7 talking about risky things 
Be real and honest
Tell kids you’re there to help talk about it without judgment
Discuss downsides of drug use
No questions asked uber ride home
Compete on team sports
What’s the weirdest thing you saw today
Did anything make you uncomfortable 

8 creating the forever family
Shift from command to counsel
Let kids make own choices after 16
Autonomy supported parenting
Guide from background
Financial literacy in high school
Allowance contract for sports and good grades
Give kids job and role in your work
Book: Rich dad, poor dad
College advisor
Create a family ritual monthly
Say I trust you
Retire some place easy to get to
Annual family trips
Be the captain they still want to sail with

Conclusion
Raise kids who don’t just play it safe
What’s your plan
Use a calm voice
I saw how hard you worked
Family code word
High power flashlight
Bullet proof backpack insert
Defensive driving school
Martial arts training