I first heard about Claire Lerner on the Raising Good Humans podcast. Everything she talked about reminded me a lot of the RIE methodology, and so many of the pain points she talked about resonated with me and my own experience of raising a very strong-willed child. I feel like her book Why Is My Child In Charge?: A Roadmap to End Power Struggles, Increase Cooperation, and Find Joy in Parenting Young Children was basically written just for me!
I just finished reading it, and I can say it's one of the top 10 best parenting books I've read. It encapsulates a lot of the ideas throughout many other books I've enjoyed (such as those by Janet Lansbury and Dan Siegel). I especially liked how it offers concrete language and suggestions for dealing with many tricky situations (bedtime, mealtime, etc.). It gives some very concrete mindset shifts that can help resolve various problems.
Below are my main notes and takeaways. I highly, highly recommend this book to any parent of a young kid.
I recently finished reading Ready or Not: Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World by Madeline Levine. I think I heard about it from another author whose work I also enjoyed.
It reminded me a bit of How to Raise an Adult, which also tackled the issues of over-involved/over-protective/helicopter parenting. Levine approached the issues through the lens of a psychologist who works with kids of all ages, and it was eye-opening to hear about some of the cases/issues she has seen firsthand. She presents a lot of good guidelines and tips, most of which revolve around doing less and letting kids do work and develop for themselves.
I also liked the sections that focused on the parents and how she encourages them to live their own lives that don't revolve around their kids 24/7.
I enjoyed this book and recommend it to other parents who may be prone to getting over-involved with their own kids. Below are some of my main notes and takeaways.
I just finished reading Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool by Emily Oster. It was sort of a meta-analysis of a bunch of published research and scientific studies on various parenting questions related to the early years. It was written by an economist (whose husband is also an economist) who loves to look at data and approaches a lot of publications with a healthy dose of skepticism.
It was a concise tactical summary of each major area of early parenting and where there is enough quality evidence to suggest one approach is better than another and where there isn't. An important point is that throughout all the decisions she discusses, there is a large role for a parent's own preferences, and she points out how each child, parent, and family situation is different, and that usually is a much bigger determining factor than anything else.
The book covered a lot of things I've read about in other places, and her list of references and books she refers to is pretty good. Below are my limited notes (my "crib sheet") on Cribsheet.